


After Ben

by wishfulfanficing



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Adopted Finn, Adopted Poe, Adopted Rey, Family Fluff, Fix-It, Han Lives, Mamma Leia, Pappa Han, Star Wars AU, rated for language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2018-11-05 10:27:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11011578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wishfulfanficing/pseuds/wishfulfanficing
Summary: The Solo family expands, rebuilds, and heals.





	1. Chapter 1

“Rey!” Finn called from the kitchen. “Poe’s here, we gotta go!” Leia handed him a plate of food and a mug of kaff. “We have to meet Luke at 9:30,” he explained to Leia’s slightly disapproving look.  

“Slow down, babe, we have time.” Poe smiled from across the countertop with a fork full of eggs in his hand.

“Did you come here early to hang out with me, or to eat?” Finn asked slyly.

Poe grinned sheepishly. “A little of both,” he admitted. “Plus I must see Her Royal Highness!” he joked, laughing kissing Leia’s hand.

“I wouldn’t call her that if you want to live, Kid,” said Han as he slowly hobbled through the door. He winked at Poe as a Leia rushed to help him sit down. It had been four months since the incident with Ben, and the wounds in his heart and on his body were still fresh. This was the first week he was able to get out of bed, and Han was enjoying both his freedom and the company of Ray and Finn, who, needing a place to stay, had moved into their house, and Poe, who was practically attached to Finn’s side. “We’re missing one,” he said, looking around in mock confusion.

“Rey’s not down yet.” Leia explained as she ran her fingers through her husband’s grey hair. He smiled up at her and leaned in to kiss her cheek.

“I can go see what’s up with her,” Finn offered. It wasn’t like his friend to be late. She was eager to learn from Luke and was usually the first one downstairs in the mornings.

“No, thanks, honey, I’ll go.” Leia said, pushing his plate towards him. “Eat. All three of you,” she said, lingering in the doorway. She smiled. Leia didn’t think she’d ever have a family again. These two (functionally three) kids had come into their lives in the most unexpected way, but she was so grateful. They helped her through the news of Han’s death, steadied her when she learned he was alive, helped her take care of his battered body and their broken hearts, and - almost most importantly - let her take care of them. She looked back to the boys in the kitchen. Han’s eyes were sparkling as he laughed at Finn’s teasing impression of Poe, who was turning pink but smiling from ear to ear. Han was a big kid - always had been. This had been so good for him.

It didn’t replace Ben. Nothing could. But it opened up something in her heart that was so precious. Her smile grew as she turned around and headed up the stairs to Rey’s bedroom.

“Rey?” Leia called softly from outside the door. “It’s 8:45 and Poe is here.” She slowly opened the door to find Rey in the dark, still in her pajamas, sitting on her bed. She was holding her head.

“Here I come,” Rey groaned. “I have a really bad headache, sorry.”

Leia frowned and walked over to her; she sat down beside her and put her hand to Rey’s forehead. “You’re a little warm, honey.”

Rey nodded. “I think I’m getting sick.”

“I think you’re already sick.” Leia said with a smile. “Go back to bed.”

“No, it’s OK.” Rey jumped to her feet. “What time did you say it was? I have to go, it’s important…”

“Sit down Rey.” Leia said kindly but firmly. Rey automatically obeyed.

“I need to go… It’s so important,” she protested.

“It’ll still be important this afternoon. Get some more sleep, and let’s see if we can’t get that fever to go away. I’ll be here all day with Han anyway; you can go over to Luke’s when you wake up.”

Rey buried her face back in the pillow. “But I have to learn the ways of the Force,” she groaned.

Leia smiled and pulled the blankets over Rey’s feverish body. “You can learn the ways of the Force when you’re feeling better. It’s thousands of years old. It’s not gonna change much between now and this afternoon.”  

Rey laughed and closed her eyes. “Fine,” she admitted.

Leia smiled as she closed the door quietly. It felt good to mother and care for someone. As she walked downstairs, she saw the door to Ben’s old room. She and Han hadn’t changed it since he left. Sometimes, at night, when Han and the others were asleep, she’d go in to his room and try to reach out to him through the Force. He was skilled; he learned long ago how to block her attempts, but she tried anyway. Most nights she felt nothing, but sometimes, maybe twice or three times, she’d felt a glimmer of light. She clung to that feeling; it helped her sleep.

“Is Rey up?” Finn said warily, pulling Leia from her thoughts.

Leia shook her head. “I made her go back to sleep. She’ll come this afternoon, if she’s feeling better.”

“You made her?” Han raised his eyebrows and smirked. “Looks like I’m finally rubbing off on you.” He thought back to all the times he’d made a sick Leia stay in bed when she was intent on going to work. As if reading his mind, Leia walked over to him and kissed his forehead. “What are you boys still doing here?” he asked Finn and Poe, feigning annoyance.

“Shoot, yeah we gotta go.” Finn realized. He kissed Leia on the cheek. Poe followed suit, adding “thanks for breakfast!” as the couple headed out the door.

“Go, go, get out, scram!” Han yelled, smiling. Leia put her arms around his shoulders from behind and rested her chin on his head. “We’re doing good, sweetheart,” he said to her as he watched them walk hand in hand.

Leia kissed his temple. “We sure are, fly boy. We are.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia takes care of a sick Rey and an injured, but healing, Han. Poe watches Finn in action.

Rey woke up slowly, the sun streaming through her window warming her cheek. She sighed contentedly and buried her face deeper into her pillow.

Her pillow. Her bed. Her room. Her family. Four months of living with Han, Leia, and Finn and those small things still made her smile.

Eventually, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and sat up. She still felt feverish and her head still hurt, but much less than it had earlier that morning when Leia had insisted she sleep in. Rubbing her eyes, Rey stood up, pulled on her robe, and walked downstairs. She still hoped to make it to Luke’s and try to salvage a day of training.

Rey walked through the kitchen and into to find Han propped up on the couch with Leia sitting next to him on its arm. Leia smiled when she saw her, and Han waved. “Hey kiddo!”

“How are you feeling?” Leia asked, getting up from the couch and feeling Rey’s forehead with the back of her hand.

“Better. My headache’s almost gone,” Rey smiled. 

“You’re still a little warm.” Leia said warily, moving toward the kitchen. “I’m going to go make you some tea.”

Han groaned involuntarily as he sat up on the coach, making room. “Come here, kid, sit down.”

Rey complied. As much as she wanted to be training with Luke and Finn, she did feel better after sleeping longer, and she sheepishly enjoyed Han and Leia’s attention.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go over to Luke’s, honey,” Leia said as she walked back in. She slipped a thermometer under Rey’s tongue and handed her a mug of hot tea. “You’re still running a fever.”

“Leia’s right,” Han chimed in from the couch. “You look pale, Rey.”

“I do feel a lot better,” Rey protested. “I really think…”

“Better doesn’t mean fine,” Leia interrupted. “This just proves that I was right this morning, and I’m right again now.” Rey looked beseechingly over to Han, who shrugged; he knew better than to argue with Leia over something like this. “Aaaaand you’re still running a temperature,” Leia said. “Go in the kitchen and look in the cabinet, there’s some cold medicine in there. It’ll help your headache, too.” Leia had seen this illness a hundred times with Ben. She knew the symptoms very well.

Rey thought about protesting, but decided not to waste her time. And, she realized, medicine would make her feel better. “Ok,” she breathed.

“I’ll call Luke on the Holocom and let him know,” Leia said gently as Rey started toward the kitchen.

“Bring me some popcorn, too!” Han called after her; Leia glared at him as she dialed Luke’s ComLink number.

“Hey, sis!” Luke’s blue image flickered to life in front of Han and Leia. “How’s Rey feeling?”

“Better, but she’s still running a fever. I convinced her to stay home for the rest of day…”

“You MADE her stay home for the rest of day,” Han interjected from the couch. Leia picked up a coaster and threw it in his direction. “Ouch, sweetheart. You’re supposed to be taking care of me.”

“You’re fine,” Leia shot back at him before turning her attention back to her brother. “She’s not thrilled, but she’ll be staying here.” 

“Tell Rey not to worry about it. Today’s gonna be a little more…” he looked out of the frame, presumably at Finn and Poe “…review.”

Leia snorted. “Will do. If she rests today she’ll probably be good to go tomorrow.”

Luke smiled at his sister. He adored Rey, Finn, and Poe, and teaching them was one of the brightest points in his life, but they exhausted him. His sister and Han, however, thrived off their newly full house. They restored each other. Incredible, he thought, how the Force works. “Ok, well let me know how she’s doing tomorrow morning.” Luke finished. Leia nodded and switched off the Holocom.

“I trust you heard all of that,” Leia said, turning around to see Rey in the doorway. “Get back in the living room,” she said, waiving the backs of her hands towards the couch.

“I think we’re out of cold medicine,” Rey coughed. “We’re also out of popcorn,” she said, shooting Han a glance. He feigned anger for a moment, then winked at her.

“Really?” Leia asked. It made sense: Han hadn’t been feeling well enough to eat much since he moved back in, and they hadn’t needed a stock of cold medicine since before Ben left. “Alright then. Can I leave you here while I run to the store?” Both Rey and Han nodded dutifully, which made Leia smile. “You two space jockeys can convalesce together while I’m gone.”

Rey was glad. Since Han had been hurt she hadn’t had the chance to spend much time with him; she treasured the time they spent together, from their chance meeting on the Falcon to the stories he told her and Finn late at night. She looked over at Han, who was smiling, and sensed he felt the same way. She turned back to Leia. “Thank you,” she said sincerely.

“Of course, baby.” Han opened his mouth to speak. “And I’ll get popcorn,” she glared at him as she walked out the door.

“I love you!” he called after her.

She popped her head back in to say “I know,” and winked at him.

Han laughed and blew her a kiss. He shook his head to himself, beaming, then looked over at Rey. “Ok, you. Wanna hear about the Kessel Run?”

“The one you made in less than 12 parsecs?” Rey looked at him and leaned forward eagerly, clutching her tea.

Han laughed. “That very one.”

–  
“Trust your instincts. Feel, don’t think,” Luke reminded as he placed the blinding helmet on Finn’s head. Poe laughed to himself, thinking about what Finn’s expression must be. He leaned back and watched his boyfriend at work. Poe was in awe of Finn’s skills, but he was more impressed by his drive and his passion. This was when he loved Finn the most: when he was in the middle of doing something he loved. 

“AH!” Finn cried out as a missed blaster ray zapped his leg. “That hurts!”

Luke snickered. “That’s why we teach you to block them.”

“Yeah, you’re not supposed to let those hit you,” Poe teased.

“You wanna try this, flyboy?” Finn laughed, pulling off the helmet and grinning at his boyfriend. Luke noticed that he’d used Leia’s pet name for Han to refer to the young pilot, and that warmed his heart.

“Yeah, gimme that!” Poe shot up and reached for the lightsaber.

“Absolutely not!” Luke sprang towards them. “Let’s.. um… let’s try it without the helmet. Poe, can you put this back with the other gear?” he asked. “No distractions,” he winked at Finn.

–   
Leia walked through the drug store aisles, looking for cold medicine. “Aha!” she said softly once she found it. For a second, she stopped and toyed with the bottle in her hands. She hadn’t bought cold medicine since before they lost Ben. It pulled at her heart strings a little, and she shuddered, but moved on to the snack aisle.

She pursued the snack offerings until she found the popcorn Han had asked for. It made her smile to think that Han was feeling well enough to request things like this. As she walked toward the checkout area, Leia felt a tickle in the back of her throat. “Damn,” she thought, and grabbed an orange in an attempt to flood her body with preventative vitamins. She hoped it wasn’t too late - the last thing their household needed was a sick Leia and an injured Han.

–  
Han was laughing. It hurt, but Rey’s story was so damn funny. She was laughing, too, stopping to cough. That’s how Leia found them when she walked back in: Han clutching his stomach in pain, Rey coughing, and both of them laughing. It made her giggle a little, too. “I see you’re feeling better.” Her expression made the pair laugh even harder. Leia smiled, and pulled out a bag of popcorn and a bottle of medicine. “I brought presents.”

Han tried to get up to meet her, but Leia stopped him. “Thank you, my love,” he said and leaned forward. She met him half way and smiled as he kissed her, slipping his hand into hers. “Did you bring popcorn?” he whispered to her.

Leia burst out laughing. “It’s right here, you nerfherder,” she guffawed, handing him a bag.

“Thank you sweetheart,” Han said as he kissed her cheek. She squeezed his hand; his smile melted her heart.

“Ok, you,” she said, turning to Rey. “I have something to make you feel better, too. It’s gonna make you sleepy, though… Let’s take you back up to bed.” Leia wiggled her hand out of Han’s held it out to help Rey up.

Rey nodded reluctantly and took Leia’s hand. “Thanks for the chat, Han.”

“Anytime and always, kiddo,” Han said and winked at her. “I’ll be down here. I won’t be going anywhere anytime soon.”

“No, you won’t be,” Leia said pointedly as she led Rey up the stairs. Rey’s hand was clammy and she looked even paler than when Leia had left. Medicine and rest was probably the best idea. “Take a swig of this,” she said to Rey as they walked into her room, handing her the bottle.

Rey complied, then gagged. “That’s… wow… that’s disgusting.”

“I’m sorry, sweetie. It’ll make you feel better, though,” Leia promised as Rey sat down her bed.

“Can you hand me my doll?” Rey asked sheepishly. The hand made doll and old helmet were the only things she had from her old life on Jakku.

“Of course honey.” Leia took the doll off of the shelf and held it for a moment. She felt the doll’s ragged orange uniform and smiled. “Here, I’ll grab you something to read, too.” Leia ran her fingers over the titled on Rey’s bookshelf and settled on an Old Republic history book. “This always puts Han to sleep,” she joked.

“Thanks Leia.” Rey beamed.

“Book, X wing doll, extra pillow…” Leia listed as she tucked Rey into bed. “I’m gonna leave the curtains open so you get some natural light. Get some rest. The more you rest the sooner you’ll feel better. If you need anything, I’ll be downstairs with Han.”

Rey smiled. “Thank you,” she said, snuggling deeper under the covers.

Leia kissed Rey’s forehead. “Of course, love.” She closed the door quietly, and Rey listened to her footsteps as she walked down the stairs. Sighing contentedly, Rey laid her feverish cheek against the coolness of her pillow and inhaled the clean detergent smell.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia catches Rey’s cold and still injured Han tries to take care of her. Finn thinks about his luck while walking home with Poe. Han comes up with a new nickname for the trio.

Leia wandered lazily down the stairs and walked over to Han on the couch. He was propped up with pillows and reading Leia’s HoloPad. “Whatcha got there, hot shot?” she asked, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and kissing his forehead.

“I’m looking over some of this military stuff.”

“Yeah?” Her grip on his shoulders tightened and she rested her chin on his shoulder.  

“Yeah,” he replied, still reading but nestling into her embrace. “I was thinking… when I’m feeling better… Poe and I were talking…”

Leia beamed. “I like that idea.”

Han smiled back at her. “Me too.” He shifted and kissed her cheek. “You’re a little warm, sweetheart,” he said, pulling back to look at her.

Leia frowned. “Damn. I think I’m catching Rey’s cold.”

“Come here.” Han laid back down and beckoned Leia to come lay on the couch next to him.

“Han… you’re still healing,” she warned, not wanting to disturb his bandages.

“It’s ok,” he assured her with a smile. Leia grinned and snuggled next to him. He sighed as he wrapped his arms around her.

“I’m a little tired,” she murmured.

“You’re getting sick,” he reminded her with a smirk, which earned him an elbow to his side. “Ow, Princess. You’re not so concerned about my gaping impalement now, are you.”

She snorted. “I’m sorry, darling.”

He kissed the top of her head. “I’ll live.” He smiled into her hair. “Go to sleep, Leia. You made Rey sleep, now it’s your turn.” She groaned, but didn’t argue. He sighed contently. He’d been back in their home for four months, but this was the first time he’d held his wife in years, and he wanted to make up for lost time.  
–

Finn wiped his sweaty brow on the arm of his jacket. “Good work today, Finn,” Luke said. Finn smiled sheepishly. “You’re getting a little closer every day.”

“Thanks,” Finn beamed. “Do you want to come with us to Han and Leia’s for dinner?”

Luke shook his head. “Thanks, boys, but Rey’s sick, and it sounded like Leia’s coming down with something. I’m not going anywhere near that house.”

Finn laughed and walked over to Poe, who took his hand. “Do we dare enter the house of infection?” he asked.

Poe laughed. “I’m a pilot, I have the immune system of a Bantha. What about you, Jedi?”

“I used to be a Storm Trooper - I’m vaccinated against everything out there.”

“Perfect. You’ll be the only one in that house with a fully functioning body. They’ll put you in charge,” Poe teased.

Finn laughed. “Good, I never get to be in charge.”

Poe giggled as they walked hand in hand. “Let’s go home,” he said, tilting his head towards Han and Leia’s.

Home. That was an interesting word for Finn. Home meant a space station, a training camp, a place to put his helmet and armor. After defecting on Jakku, he started to think of “home” as other people - Rey and Han. Leia. Poe. Especially Poe. He squeezed his boyfriend’s hand. “Hey… I’m really glad I met you.”

A huge grin came over Poe’s face. “I’m really glad I met you too, Finn.”    
–

Han opened one eye as he heard Poe and Finn walk in. They weren’t that loud, but, compared to the silence and peace he and Leia had enjoyed, their entrance was ear-splitting. “You’re so loud,” he groaned. He felt Leia stir in his arms; she was waking up too.

“Sorry, Han,” Finn said as Poe headed upstairs.

“Don’t worry, I’m just RECOVERING from being IMPALED,” Han spat. “Sorry about that, Princess,” he said to Leia.

“They’re fine, my love, we’re fine,” Leia muttered, still groggy.

“These little fuckers,” Han cursed. “I got one kid who stabbed me in the fucking stomach, one who…” He stopped suddenly, realizing what he had said. Finn froze and turned to Han. “What’d I say?” Han asked, feigning innocence.

Finn didn’t say anything, but grinned from ear to ear and followed Poe up the stairs. Leia turned to him. “You know what you said.”

Han shrugged. “Whatever. He knows… they know. We let ‘em live here, we do family stuff…”

“You made Finn really happy.” Leia kissed his cheek.

He smirked at her. “It’s the truth.”

Leia smiled. “I love you,” she told him.

“I love you too, beautiful,” he whispered. “How are you feeling?”

“Not great,” she admitted. “I felt like I was coming down with something this morning, so I got extra cold medicine. But it’s all the way in the kitchen.” She buried her face in his chest and smiled. “I really don’t want to get off this couch.”

“I love you, sweetheart, but I’m not getting up either,” Han said, making Leia laugh.

“Maybe once those little fuckers you love so much come back downstairs, we can make one of them get it,” Leia sighed, snuggling deeper into Han’s embrace. He winced, but pulled her closer.

“Excellent idea,” he yawned.

–  
“Rey… are you awake?” Finn whispered outside Rey’s room.

“Yeah, I’m up,” she answered, opening the door. Finn and Poe followed her inside and sat on her bed.

“How are you feeling?” Poe asked.

“SO much better. I slept basically all day.”

Finn smiled. “Are you coming back to Luke’s tomorrow?” She nodded vigorously. “Good, cuz we missed you.”

“You missed Finn getting zapped,” Poe informed her.

Rey snorted. “Eh, I’m sure he’ll get zapped again tomorrow.”

“Excuse me, Master Jedis,” Finn said, feigning offense.

Poe kissed him on the cheek. “You actually are really good,” he admitted.

Rey watched them and smiled. They made each other so happy, and their happiness made her happy. But more than happy, she felt easy and at peace.

"Hey, little fuckers!” Han’s voice cut through her thoughts.

She looked over at Finn and Poe. “I think he’s talking to you.”

“We woke him up when we came in,” Finn explained, smiling as he thought about Han’s words to him downstairs.

Rey grimaced jokingly. “Big mistake, gentlemen.”

“Finn! Poe! Rey!” Leia’s voice, hoarse but gentle, called them. “Would you come down here.”

“We need you to bring us cold medicine and popcorn from the kitchen!” Han added, prompting the trio to start down the stairs. “We’re not getting off this couch,” he told them as they passed through the living room on their way to the kitchen. He noticed Leia was starting to doze off again; he kissed the top of her head and jostled her gently. “You gotta stay with me til the little fuckers come back with your medicine.”

Leia laughed. “Hurry up little fuckers.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Poe finally talk about families. Han and Leia start settling back in to their lives together, with Rey and Finn as part of it.

Leia felt warm; her head and body ached. She sniffled, slowly waking up. She saw that Han was sitting on in window seat with Leia’s holo pad, reading intently. She watched him through heavy eyelids; the sight soothed her heart. It wasn’t just that Han was feeling better, coming back to himself and the Resistance. It was that he was here, in their room, in his favorite reading spot. He was back. Despite how terrible she felt physically, Leia felt incredibly calm. Finally, she let him know she was awake by whispering his name. “Han…”

Her husband looked up from his reading and beamed at her. “Hey, Princess. Welcome back.”

“Last I remember, we were on the couch downstairs. Did you carry me up here?“ she asked, looking around their bedroom.

Han smirked. "No,” he shook his head. “Made Poe do it. He about fainted.”

Leia laughed, which caused her to cough. “Be nice to him,” she finally wheezed.

Han feigned offense. “I am the nicest guy you know, sweetheart.” He smiled back at her. “He’s a good kid. They’re all good kids. I really… I’m glad they’re here.”

They sat there in silence and let the weight of his words hang over them. Han thought about Ben, about the last time he saw his son, about the hatred in his eyes, about the way his face felt.  

Leia thought about their son too. She wondering what Ben would feel if he knew Rey and Finn had moved in to their home. Would he even feel anything? “It’s freezing in here,” she finally muttered as she buried her face in the pillow.

“It’s not cold, you’re cold,” he teased, pulling the blankets back over her. “That better?”

“No,” she whined.

“Move.” Han slid into bed next to her and wrapped his arms around her. “How about now?”

She closed her eyes and smiled. “This is perfect.”

–   
“Thanks for taking Leia upstairs,” Finn said, kissing his boyfriend’s cheek.

Poe smiled. “It’s not a big deal. Happy to do it.”

“I know, I know… to you…”

“To me, she’s royalty.” Poe looked at Finn intently.

Finn laughed, but held his gaze. “You’re really serious.”

“I am, Poe replied, wrapping his arms around Finn’s neck. “She meant a lot to my family, she means a lot to me.” He paused and studied Finn’s expression. He realized this was the first time he’d mentioned family to Finn; he frozen and watched Finn’s face for any traces of distress at the topic’s introduction. “Hey. What was your family like? You never talk about them.”

Finn shrugged. “I don’t have much to talk about.”

“It’s ok,” Poe told him. “It’s ok if it’s not good. I still want to know.”

“It’s.. it’s a lot.” Finn frowned for a moment. “I think the worst was the day I thought about my mother, and I realized I couldn’t remember exactly what her voice sounded like. I couldn’t remember the details of her face anymore. I don’t remember what it felt like when she held me. I thought I’d ALWAYS have that. I thought I’d always know her. It feels like I’m letting her down and losing her all over again.”

Poe moved his hand from the back of Finn’s neck to cup his face. He didn’t say anything, but nodded as he rubbed his thumb across his cheek.

Finn swallowed and continued. “And it makes me wonder - does she remember me? Does she remember what I smell like, what my laugh is like? And if she saw me now, would she recognize me?”

“Hey, look at me.” Poe brought Finn closer to him. “She’ll know you. She’ll know your eyes. And you’ll know her.”

“You think?” Finn breathed in slowly to stop the lump forming in his throat.

Poe looked Finn right in the eyes. “I do,” he said firmly.

–  
Rey lay in bed. She still felt ill, but better than she had earlier that morning. She knew Leia was sick, and she felt a little badly about it. She heard Finn and Poe watching the HoloNet downstairs, and briefly thought about joining them. “That doesn’t seem like a group activity,” she thought to herself. Still, she wanted to leave her room. Squinting, she opened the door and started toward Han and Leia’s room.

She walked down the hallway and was pleased to find their door open. Leia was sitting up in bed, reading. Han sat in bed next to her with his own HoloPad - he was wearing glasses, which Rey had never seen.

“Hi dear,” Leia greeted Rey. Her voice was hoarse, but she was smiling. “How are you feeling?”

“Much, much better. Almost back to my own self.”

“Good.” Leia smiled at her warmly; Rey couldn’t help but smile, too.

“I think I’m gonna be good to go see Luke tomorrow,” Rey continued.

“You sure?”

“She’s fine, she’s tough.” Han interjected, pulling his glasses up to his head.

“I’m OK, Leia,” Rey assured her.

Leia frowned. “Alright then.”

Rey walked over to the side of the bed. “Leia,” she said gently. “I’m ok. It’s just a cold and it’s almost gone. I’m ok.”

Leia smiled and held Rey’s face in her hands. “I know, love. I’m so glad you’re better.”

“Don’t mind her - she’s in ‘mom’ mode,” Han chuckled, kissing the top of his wife’s head. Leia giggled, and Rey grinned. “Now get out of here, before she re-infects you.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Han starts to feel a little bit like his old self. Rey and Finn talk about the mechanics of their memories. Leia shows Han how she reaches out to Ben.

“Sweetheart. I think we might be old.”

Leia shot Han a dagger glance. “Speak for yourself, there, hotshot.”

He laughed. “Look at us. We’re reading in bed. I have these bifocals. All you need is a sleep bonnet.”

That made Leia smile as she craned her neck to see the screen of his HoloPad. “What are you reading?”

“Stuff for the next mission. The other day, Poe and I talked about next steps, moving forward… verbs turning into nouns.“

Leia’s smile widened. It made her heart swell to think of Han, back to his old self again, flying the Falcon as he served a cause they both loved. She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “I like that.”

Han smirked. “You trying to pull something, sweetheart?”

Leia laughed and slapped his arm playfully. “Not in our condition, hot shot. You have a hole in your chest and I’m pretty sure I have the intergalactic plague.” She kissed him and felt him smile against her lips. “Now, what is this?”

Han adjusted his glasses with a flourish. “We’re trying to figure out…”

“Who’s we?”

Han laughed. That was his nosy princess. “Me and Poe, and the Kiddy Pilots.”

Leia snorted. “Those Kiddy Pilots saved your old ass.”

“They did,” he muttered, and gestured back to the HoloPad. “We’re trying to figure out what the best way is to move forward with me being…”

Leia nodded. “Not dead.”

“Right.” He smirked, but the light in his eyes dimmed a little. Seeing this, Leia pressed a kiss to his cheek and snuggled closer to him. “Right now I’m just helping them draft their flight plans,” he continued. “When I’m up and at ‘em in a few weeks I’m gonna take a look at their fleet. Now that we’re out in the open and since the First Order is destabilized, we clearly have to strike. The only question is when and how.”

“I think that’s an excellent idea,” Leia said, laying on her husband’s chest, carefully avoiding his wound.

“The plan or my helping them?”

“Yes,” she mumbled into his shoulder. “Both. All. You spending time with Poe. You being a pilot. You being alive. You being here.”  

He beamed down at her. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her a little closer, not caring about the twinge he felt when her arm brushed his chest. “I wanna get Rey and Finn in there somehow but Luke’s got ‘em real good with that Jedi thing.”

“Yeah… he’s really into that Force schtick.”

That made Han laugh - the kind of flighty, airy laugh that only Leia and the rest of his family heard. “We’ll get ‘em somehow. Make ‘em do all the stuff we’re too old to do.”

“Damn right.” Leia laughed and closed her eyes. “Keep the little fuckers in their place.”  

—

“You know every memory we have isn’t a real memory? It’s just a memory of the last time you remembered it.”

Rey turned to him and looked quizzical. “What?”

“One of the other troopers told me, that when you remember something you aren’t actually remembering the thing itself, but the last time you remembered it.”

“That’s so fucked up,” Rey said, returning to her noodles.

“When I think back to my mom, I’m not remembering the last time I saw her. I’m remembering the last time I remembered seeing her.”

“It is.” The pair sat for a moment in silence. Rey wrung her hands together and sighed deeply. Finn looked out the window, then at Rey. She stood up and walked over to the man who had become her brother. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek. “I love Han and Leia, but this fucking sucks.”

Finn frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Not this. Not living here, with them - with you. I’m so happy. But there’s still…”

“Hey,” Finn interrupted her. “I know. It’s ok… it’s ok to be happy here but still think about them, still miss them.”

Rey nodded. “I know.”

Finn yawned. “I’m tired, and you’re sick. We should go to bed.”

“No, you want to go to Poe,” Rey said with a smile. Finn smiled sheepishly and stood up. “Go ahead, I’m gonna be down here a little while longer, I’m making some tea.”

Finn nodded, kissed Rey’s forehead, and practically ran upstairs. Rey smirked, then stood up, poured tea into her mug, and took a deep breath. The steam felt good on her face. She took a sip that soothed her scratchy throat. With a smile, she turned off the last light in the house and headed upstairs to bed.

–   
Leia tiptoed into their bedroom. Han had fallen asleep long ago, but she’d gotten up, as she often did. Slowly, softly, so as not to wake him, she slipped back under the covers next to him. 

“Sweetheart,” he muttered sleepily. “Where’d ya go?”

She winced, both because she woke him up and because she knew she had to tell him. “Ben’s room,” she replied.

Han sat up, suddenly awake. “Leia…”

“I know, I know,” she stopped him. “I just thought…”

“Can you show me?”

Leia looked at him, surprised. “What?”

“What do you do you when you go in there? Can you show me?”

Leia nodded and took Han’s hand. They stood up slowly and made their way down the hall. They passed Rey’s room; the door was open a crack, and Leia couldn’t resist peeking inside. “She’s fine, sweetheart,” Han whispered. “Let her sleep.“

A few more steps took them past Finn’s room. The door was shut - locked, probably - but they could hear both boys snoring. Leia smirked. "Sounds like you.”

Han smiled back and squeezed her hand. “Ready, beautiful?” They’d arrived at the end of the hall.  

Leia nodded and opened the door to Ben’s room. A shiver went through Han’s spine. He hadn’t been in that room for so long. The last time he been in was after that last explosive fight, when Ben stormed out, never to return. Leia fixed it up, put everything right, and made it look like it was waiting for their son to come back from a mission or a night out.  The last time Han had seen their son, Ben had tried to kill him. As far as Ben (Kylo?) knew, he’d succeeded. Han sat down on the bed that Leia had re-made, overwhelmed.

Leia sat down next to him, and the two of them looked around the room silently. “This is where I start,” she breathed, taking both his hands in hers. “Then I close my eyes, and reach out.”

–  
Far away, past the ruins of Starkiller base, Kylo Ren felt a twinge; a presence; a breath on the back of his neck. He turned around, but no one was there. As the tickle faded away, he placed his hand on the back of his neck, both to shoo it away and to keep it there. He closed his eyes and concentrated on the sensation.

–   
Leia’s eyes snapped open. She reached for her husband’s hand to steady herself.

“Han…”

He grabbed both her arms, gently but firmly. "What, Leia, what?”

She looked up at him, face white. “I felt him. Han… He reached back.”


	6. Chapter 6

_Come here, kiddo… come here, Ben. It’s ok, take my hand… I won’t let you fall. Come here. Let’s go home._

_His father’s touch on his naked cheek. The hum of the lightsaber. The fall._

_Han’s flickering life force, dimming and dimming and extinguishing with a puff of black, thick smoke._

_Ben… Ben…_

Kylo Ran shot straight up in bed, his father’s voice still echoing in his ears. His chamber was completely dark and his blankets corse; despite the cold, he felt beads of sweat drip from his temple down his cheek and slip under his chin.

“Fuck,” he swore aloud, his voice scratchy and his mouth dry. “Fuck.”   
—

“HAN.”

The tone of Leia’s voice woke him up right away and he pulled himself up to meet her eye level. “Sweetheart… nightmare?”

Leia shook her head. “No… something else.”

He lifted his hand up to cup her cheek and she leaned into his touch. “What is it?” he asked gently.

“I don’t know… I’m not sure.”

Han breathed in and exhaled slowly. He was used to the nightmares and the panic attacks, but as he looked at his wife he could tell this was neither one. Her arms flew gingerly around his waist and he tightened his grip on her. “Do you think it could be…”

His sentence trailed off, but Leia knew. “Ben.”

Han nodded. “We were just in his room…”

It was Leia’s turn to nod; she bit her lip and swallowed hard. She often reached out to her son through the Force, but she had never done it with Han - and she’d never felt Ben reach back.

“Let’s get you outta here, huh?” he muttered to her. She snuggled a little closer to his chest and nodded. Han smiled into her hair and shifted to pick her up.

“Han, no…” she whispered.

He stopped dead and looked at her, eyes full of concern. “You ok? What’s wrong?”

She looked up at him and shook her head. “No… you’re hurt… I don’t wanna…”

Han smirked and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’m ok, Princess… Let me carry you.” Leia’s face scrunched up in an unconvinced look. “And if it starts to hurt, I’ll put you right down. Deal?”

Leia smiled and reached her hand out for his. “Ok, hotshot. Deal.” She squirmed and settled into his hold as he lifted

“Ooofff… this is a little harder than I remember,” he joked.

“It’s cuz of your massive injury, right?” She positioned her elbow right above his bandage and scrunched her nose again, anticipating his answer.

“Sure, sweetheart… exactly.” He grinned and kissed the bridge of her nose. “But seriously: I’m just injured, not dead.”

“And thank God.”

—   
Rey stirred her tea, creating tiny whirlpools then letting go of the spoon; she chewed on her lip as she watched it swirl around and around, listening to the clink of the metal against the ceramic. She was so lost in thought that she didn’t hear Han and Leia come down the stairs.

“We made it, sweetheart,” Han puffed exaggeratedly as he set Leia down on the kitchen floor, then headed straight for the couch in the nook.

“My hero.” Leia rolled her eyes, then walked tower to Han to kiss him on the cheek. “Hi baby,” she smiled at Rey.

Rey smiled back weakly. “Hey. What are you doing down here?”

“It’s our house, kid,” Han quipped.

“I can’t sleep, so I came down here for a change of scenery. And this nerfherder followed me here,” she winked with a gesture toward her husband.

“Yeah, whatever, Your Worship…” He leaned in for a kiss and she obliged him with a smile, settling down next to him.

“You ok, honey?” Leia asked as she reached over and tucked Rey’s hair behind her ear.

Rey smiled at Leia’s motherly touch. “Yeah, I’m ok… it’s just… oh my god.”

Leia’s head snapped around to see Finn standing at the top of the stairs in nothing but his plaid boxer shorts. “Dammit, kid, put some clothes on,” Han yelled.

Leia laughed, “It’s cold, Finn, honey, where’s your robe?”

Finn blushed and fidgeted with his hands, trying to cover himself as much as he could. “I’m sorry… I thought you were all in bed… I got thirsty… I’m sorry… shit I’m sorry…”

“It’s ok, baby, why don’t you go get your robe and come down here,” Leia said pointedly.  “I’ll pour you some water while you’re at it.”

Finn nodded and turned around to head back down the upstairs hallway. “Walk, Finn, WALK!” Han called after him, then turned back to the women seated around the table. “He needs to walk… things are bouncing,” he explained.

Leia chucked as she reached for the water glass. “Yes, dear… you want water, Rey?”

“Yes please,” Rey piped up.

“How about some for your charming husband who carried you all the way down here?” Han teased.

“Of course, Captain Solo,” Leia winked. “Ice or no ice?” she asked Rey.

“No ice.” Rey pushed her tea mug away from her and sunk back in the couch. She looked at Han, who was looking at Leia and smiling absentmindedly. Leia looked back at him with a grin as she poured water into two glasses. Rey sighed contentedly and felt the calmness fill her lungs. Han noticed and winked at her, making Rey’s smile wider.  

“No ice for you,” Leia set the glass down in front of Rey with a warm smile. “And ice, for he who herds the nerfs.”

“Thanks, beautiful.” Leia bent down and Han kissed her cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too, darling.” She ran her hands through his sandy grey hair and grinned.

“Oh look, Mr. Big Deal is back.” Han gestured to Finn, now fully clothed in his plaid pajamas and alliance t-shirt. “And he brought his other half!” Finn blushed agin as Poe, in a tank top and old pilot pants, tucked his head on Finn’s shoulder.

“It’s like a whole party down here,” Poe smirked. “What’s the occasion?”

“Nobody can sleep,” Rey muttered, scooting closer to Han to make room for the boys. Leia poured two more glasses and set them down in front of the couple, then snuggled in to Han’s lap, causing him to groan and grin.

“You know what would really make this a party…” Han trailed off, placing a kiss on Leia’s shoulder. “We got any Cornellian whiskey, sweetheart?”

Leia shook her head. “No, but we can get some… then it’d really be a party.”

Han nodded. “Time for the Little Fuckers to make themselves useful… Finn you’re the most clothed… ironically”

Finn jumped up excitedly. “Yes! I’ve never had any Corellian whiskey and I’ve always wanted to try it.”

“Oh, kiddo… remember this night. Your life is about to change.” Han’s smile got even bigger. “Go to the market on the corner of Brattle and Maas, they don’t check ID there.“

"HAN.” Leia turned to give Han a death stare, which he met with an exaggerated scowl.

“Don’t worry,” Finn said. “I know EXACTLY where that is.”

“Take Rey with you,” Leia insisted. “That way if one of you gets into trouble…”

“…the other one can be a witness.” Han winked at Rey, then turned to his wife. “Are you satisfied with their security detail, your Highnessness.”

Leia let out an exasperated breath. “Fine. Send them out… into the night… cold…”

Rey laughed and kissed Leia’s head as she stood up. “Don’t worry. I’ll keep him out of trouble.”

“Will you leave before the whiskey goes bad?” Han pleaded, handing Rey a fistful of credits. The duo nodded and made a b-line for the front door.

Leia laughed. “That’d better be some damn fine whiskey.”

“Sweetheart…” Han’s hand shot to his heart as he feigned offense. “It’s Corellian.”

“Of course it is.” She stood up and traced her husband’s jawline with her fingers, settling on his cheek and placing a kiss to his forehead. “Fine whiskey like this needs fine goblets, not this crude matter.” She reluctantly stood up and reached for her slippers underneath the table. “I’ll go down to the storage unit and grab our wedding goblets.”

“Yes! Great idea. Those are so fucking fancy,” Han said excitedly.

“And they’re actually from Corellia,” Leia smiled. “I’ll be right back.”

Han watched Leia shuffle to the door in the kitchen that led to their storage unit. “That’s my wife,” he said proudly, partially to Poe and partially to himself.

Poe grinned. “Damn right.” The men sat for a moment, sipping their water in comfortable silence. “Actually, I’m kinda glad we came down here. I couldn’t sleep either.”

Han tapped his fingers against his glass. “Yeah? How come?”

Poe shrugged. “I’ve just been thinking about my dad… it’s coming up to the anniversary of when he died and that’s kinda… well, you know.”

Han nodded. “I know, kiddo. That’s rough, I’m sorry.”

“Thanks.” Poe’s gaze moved to his glass. “It’s hard for me to talk about.”

“I bet,” Han said, “but with these kinds of things, talking about them… it can help a little.”

Poe nodded and rubbed the stubble on the side of his face. “I guess…”

“Leia said something interesting to me.” Han groaned as he adjusted the pillows underneath his back to sit up better. “She said, to call it out is to name is it, to name it is to control it, and to control it is to take away its power.” He paused and shrugged. “Maybe it’s one of those Jedi things, I don’t know, I always thought it was kinda…”

“Kinda what?”

“Not stupid, but you know… it worked for her but it wasn’t my style. But after everything that happened with Ben, when I was in the med center, I kind of understand now.”

Poe tilted his head to the side. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know… when I think about it, it’s overwhelming, like it’s happening to me all over again. But when I tell the story, it feels different. I dunno, probably some sort of control think that those psychologists are always going on about. But kiddo… it works.”

“Its ok… I mean, at least I had my dad.” Han looked at him quizzically; Poe continued. “I feel kinda bad, you know, like you never even knew your parents, and Finn…” He trailed off.

“Nah, it’s ok, I get it, it sucks.” Han smiled softly. “Have you talked to Finn about this? I’m sure if he knew…”

“I can’t… He was literally ripped from his family, he doesn’t wanna hear about me missing mine.”

“Eh, he loves you, Poe, and he’d wanna know so he can support you.”  

“I see what you’re saying.” Poe shifted his posture in the couch and brought one leg to rest underneath himself. “But like… I feel really bad talking about it with Finn.”

“Cuz it feels like small potatoes compared to…” Poe made a large gesture that brought a smirk to Han’s face.

“Yeah, I get that…” Han rubbed his chin pensively. “Not to make it about me, but I get it. I’m married to Leia Organa, trauma queen of the universe.” Poe snorted as Han went on. “She’s been through some really fucked up shit. He shrugged. “And maybe some of that is me wanting to be the big man protecting the little princess or whatever, but I just felt wrong talking to her about some of this shit when she’d been through so much.” Han paused and leaned in closer to Poe. “I used to think she didn’t wanna hear about it, that it wasn’t as bad as what she went through. But kid… if you keep burying that down, it’ll come out somehow.” Poe nodded. He’d been there for Han’s headaches and body pain. “It’ll drive a wedge between you. Don’t let it,” Han continued as he put his hand on Poe’s shoulder. “Don’t give it any more power than it already has.”


End file.
